16-12-2016, 09:49
Thank you <3 I will try to explain some of those things:
1. About the Eteric Claws, it was more a spell she created to best him or show him that he is not better than her. A matter of self esteem here, especially since Frosty not only became a friend, but also a very mild rival with all the teasing he gave her. In contrast to her older friends, he didn't really expect anything of her, like Gallant who tried to mentor her and to that end put her in the leadership position. That's why she thinks the spell and fingers are useful, but she hates them as they were the source to spark her pride.
2. You may be right, the scene was too short. I tried to signify how a disonance came between her and her friends which at first came to be in Trottingham. Sparkplug at this point is still not the leader she was supposed to be, plus, her friends took away the authority they gave her before they reached Stalliongrad. This, with her still immature personality coupled into an outburst.
3. The meeting with the young King was supposed to drive the plot and explain, ambiguosly, why the result of Sparkplug's and Frosty's infiltration made sense in military terms. As you could see, Aquila Bear was less than likely to hear them out, and the Captain was there to listen to them, urged by the King to keep close tabs on the you peachy unicorn. Karma goes around and her goodness was rewarded. As for the epidemic, it was mentioned between the verses what causes it. To be sure: I don't include many meaningless things in this story. If something happens it's either a Wild Wasteland thing (which happens really rarily) or will have an impact on the future story.
The only thing that kinda got derailed for now, was the First Banished One journal which Sparkplug read and which was gifted to her by White Sabre. I plan to include it further, as it serves to build up the world of the Southern Wasteland, but for now it wasn't crucial to the story yet.
4. Maybe it isn't that fair, sure. But the Spider Walk spell isn't common for sure. It is a spell that one of the raiders on a train in the first chapters of the original Fallout Equestria used to run on the outside wall of a train to ambush Littlepip. I really liked the spell and the tactical advantage it gave to the user as well as it's stealth capabilities and I wanted to include it in the story. Sun Beam has a more or less unspecified backstory in the tale, but adhesive spells are supposed to her specialities, hence the mental manipulator and the spider walk.
Signature spells are things I find the most interesting in unicorn magic, as they are the most uncommon and defined, yet not unable to be learned by others as shown by Twilight Sparkle when in the show she leanrt Rarity's signature spell, or by Rarity in the story, when she learned Twilights Teleportation spell. Sparkplug has her eteric claws as her signature spell, Sunbeam has her Mental Manipulator one, April Moon will have a See-me-not Cloak spell, Doctor Killerdose has an X-Ray spell which is an evolution of a flashlight spell used by security guards, Many Verges has a Ricochet Trajectory spell which let's him manipulate his projectiles by the way they richochet (which was used by him to scare off the monster). The spells themselves should be useful and utilitarian, somewhat a necessity in the line of work and expertise of a pony, but I wanted to not use them as something of a deus ex machina as you called it, but more like a strategic and usefull asset. And I'm glad I've pulled it off this way <3
5. Nothing to add here. The idea of the world not being what you saw and remembered was inspired by he polish game "Afterfall: InSanity" which wasn't really a great game, but had a really good and nice post-apocalyptic and fallout-esque story (they even had their own, giant vaults with big front doors) as is the main character's affliction with direct sunlight being a trigger for hallucinations. Check it if you want to learn more about it, it was a very big inspiration for the story.
1. About the Eteric Claws, it was more a spell she created to best him or show him that he is not better than her. A matter of self esteem here, especially since Frosty not only became a friend, but also a very mild rival with all the teasing he gave her. In contrast to her older friends, he didn't really expect anything of her, like Gallant who tried to mentor her and to that end put her in the leadership position. That's why she thinks the spell and fingers are useful, but she hates them as they were the source to spark her pride.
2. You may be right, the scene was too short. I tried to signify how a disonance came between her and her friends which at first came to be in Trottingham. Sparkplug at this point is still not the leader she was supposed to be, plus, her friends took away the authority they gave her before they reached Stalliongrad. This, with her still immature personality coupled into an outburst.
3. The meeting with the young King was supposed to drive the plot and explain, ambiguosly, why the result of Sparkplug's and Frosty's infiltration made sense in military terms. As you could see, Aquila Bear was less than likely to hear them out, and the Captain was there to listen to them, urged by the King to keep close tabs on the you peachy unicorn. Karma goes around and her goodness was rewarded. As for the epidemic, it was mentioned between the verses what causes it. To be sure: I don't include many meaningless things in this story. If something happens it's either a Wild Wasteland thing (which happens really rarily) or will have an impact on the future story.
The only thing that kinda got derailed for now, was the First Banished One journal which Sparkplug read and which was gifted to her by White Sabre. I plan to include it further, as it serves to build up the world of the Southern Wasteland, but for now it wasn't crucial to the story yet.
4. Maybe it isn't that fair, sure. But the Spider Walk spell isn't common for sure. It is a spell that one of the raiders on a train in the first chapters of the original Fallout Equestria used to run on the outside wall of a train to ambush Littlepip. I really liked the spell and the tactical advantage it gave to the user as well as it's stealth capabilities and I wanted to include it in the story. Sun Beam has a more or less unspecified backstory in the tale, but adhesive spells are supposed to her specialities, hence the mental manipulator and the spider walk.
Signature spells are things I find the most interesting in unicorn magic, as they are the most uncommon and defined, yet not unable to be learned by others as shown by Twilight Sparkle when in the show she leanrt Rarity's signature spell, or by Rarity in the story, when she learned Twilights Teleportation spell. Sparkplug has her eteric claws as her signature spell, Sunbeam has her Mental Manipulator one, April Moon will have a See-me-not Cloak spell, Doctor Killerdose has an X-Ray spell which is an evolution of a flashlight spell used by security guards, Many Verges has a Ricochet Trajectory spell which let's him manipulate his projectiles by the way they richochet (which was used by him to scare off the monster). The spells themselves should be useful and utilitarian, somewhat a necessity in the line of work and expertise of a pony, but I wanted to not use them as something of a deus ex machina as you called it, but more like a strategic and usefull asset. And I'm glad I've pulled it off this way <3
5. Nothing to add here. The idea of the world not being what you saw and remembered was inspired by he polish game "Afterfall: InSanity" which wasn't really a great game, but had a really good and nice post-apocalyptic and fallout-esque story (they even had their own, giant vaults with big front doors) as is the main character's affliction with direct sunlight being a trigger for hallucinations. Check it if you want to learn more about it, it was a very big inspiration for the story.
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- Mavka
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